While I was showering, a light bulb popped above my head, and I realized it's been all my fault. That's right, all of this, since August 2007, it's been my fault, my beards fault.
Let me explain: Since I started my sophomore year at Quinnipiac University, I started to grow a beard. Sure, it is patchy and still doesn't grow at all in certain spots, but being the dirty college student that I am, I decided to embark on a bearded journey. Combine my general laziness and the illusion that I think this hair looks good on my face, and there you have it. The perfect equation for a beard.
Once I got it to a "respectable" length, I swore to my mother that I would always have a beard, for the rest of my life. She was not happy. I think it gives me something to do when I'm bored and that I look "cool" and "hip" as I go through life here at college, so I was going to keep it forever.
All the problems the Mets have been having, I believe stems from my beard.
During September of 2007, I had my beard at the longest length of it's short existence, and we all know what happened then. I won't rehash it, the memories are still fresh.
Thanksgiving 2007, the end of November. While I'm on the family trip to Maryland, my mom demands our family go out and get family portraits. One of those silly places in the mall where we all crowd in front on a wall and have our picture taken in matching outfits as passersby gawk and wave at us. Looking to please my mother (I'm such a good child, I know) I trim my beard down to a very short length so she doesn't yell at me for the pictures. November 30, 2007, the Mets trade Lastings Milledge for Ryan Church and Brian Schneider. Creepy.
Let's jump to January of 2008. While gearing up for No Shave February, an entire month without shaving, something I complete with a few of my roommates, I trim my beard down to the shortest length, while still barely keeping a "beard." That day, Mets complete a trade for ace pitcher Johan Santana. I'm a little freaked out thinking about this now.
Coincedence? I think not.
Tonight, I shaved off my beard, my "scruff" if you will, for the New York Mets. This is something I swore I would never do. Mets, don't make my cheeks go naked for nothing.